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July 23, 2013

Letter: Budget bill the right way to get at NOAA

To the editor:

I am writing regarding the Senate Appropriations bill on fisheries.

Obesity in government is truly an epidemic and NOAA is the posterboy — overstaffed, overpaid, and underworked, a recipe for systemic, catastrophic failure.

We are already witnessing the warning signs of this plague. But unlike any other mortal malady, those infected with the disease experience no symptoms. The pain is only inflicted upon those who come into close contact with the carriers.

In most cases, this virulent strain is proving increasingly resistant to conventional remediative therapy, thereby resulting in an alarmingly high mortality rate. As is the case with most other pest born pathogens, whether insect, vermin, or some demonic mutation of the two, the only way to eradicate these infectious parasites entirely is to deprive them of their primary source of sustenance: Funding!

Only then will the threat become “manageable.”

Eliminating suitable breeding habitat is also an option, although their ability to adapt to political climate change is startling, and a cause for immediate alarm and action.

It is, however, imperative that all caution must be exercised to avoid collateral damage to the innocent, uninfected “workers” if this mitigation method is employed.

At least someone is finally doing something. I just hope it’s not too little, and too late; for many, it already is.



Captain, F/V Sasquatch

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