GloucesterTimes.com, Gloucester, MA

Lifestyle

March 29, 2013

Pressure to have sex causes angst

:Dear Abby: My boyfriend and I have been dating for several months. He’s fun and caring, and we spend a lot of time together. He’s different from other boys I have dated. We can talk to each other about anything.

My only concern is our relationship physically. He makes it very clear that he wants to go all the way with me. He isn’t rude or pushy about it. I don’t want to rush into anything. We are both virgins (he does have more experience), and while I have known him for a long time, I don’t know him as well as I’d like.

I want to wait until we have dated for at least six months. He says he respects my decision and says he doesn’t want to pressure me. I still feel a little rushed. All of our friends have had sex, but I don’t want it to be about our hormones in the heat of the moment.

I hate saying no to him. I know he won’t leave me, but I feel bad for leaving him frustrated. Would it be wrong to agree to having sex with him — something we both want — even if I don’t know if we’re ready for the next step?

:Unsure In Canada

Dear Unsure: Yes, it would be wrong. The first time you have sex it should be because you are 100 percent sure you are ready, and he is the right person. If that’s not the case, you will be cheating yourself.

And as for feeling guilty because you are leaving him frustrated — I have a solution. Socialize with him in group settings and spend less time alone together. That way there will be less frustration for him and less temptation for both of you.

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Lifestyle

Your news, your way
Pictures of the Week
Comments Tracker
AP Entertainment Videos
Adam Levine Launches Clothing Line for Women Paul Wesley Sinks His Teeth Into Directing Chelsea Clinton Is Pregnant Josh Thompson Streams Album to Hook New Fans Franco Leads Star-studded Broadway Cast ShowBiz Minute: Singer, Young, Poehler Sparks Fly With Derulo and Jordin on New Album Nas Movie Opens Tribeca Film Festival Zooey Deschanel Adds Designing to Her Repertoire Miley Cyrus Still in Hospital, Cancels 2nd Show 'Half of a Yellow Sun' Hits the Big Screen Diaz Gets Physical for New Comedy Swift's Bus Drives Into Country Hall of Fame ShowBiz Minute: Cyrus, Walker, Combs Pedro Pascal Plays 'Game of Thrones'' Red Viper Deeley Shows Acting Chops in Hulu's 'Deadbeat' Ora Strips Efron at MTV Awards ShowBiz Minute: MTV Awards, Lopez, Royals Stars Hit Red Carpet for MTV Movie Awards Conan Backs Colbert, Hosts MTV Movie Awards