GloucesterTimes.com, Gloucester, MA

Lifestyle

March 21, 2013

Daughter's decision to end pregnancy torments mom

:Dear Abby: My 22-year-old daughter became pregnant from a guy she had dated only a few months, but never seriously. After weeks of wondering what she was going to do, she decided that terminating her pregnancy was the best thing to do considering she has limited income and still lives with me. I, however, am pro-life, although I do feel that in cases of rape or incest it is acceptable. My daughter knows how I feel about this. I supported her in her decision, but did not agree with it.

Abby, I have taken this really hard. I have cried every day since she had the abortion, and I’m torturing myself thinking this is my fault because I went against everything I believe in when I supported her in her decision.

Why am I beating myself up about this? Is it because she’s my daughter, because I am pro-life or both? How can I stop blaming myself for her decision?

:Tortured In The South

:Dear Tortured: The decision about whether or not to terminate the pregnancy wasn’t yours to make; it was your daughter’s. Being pro-life, you have your own convictions, but you acted as a loving parent should — you supported your child. If you feel you could benefit from counseling to help you through this, ask your doctor for a referral.

:Dear Abby: My husband and I are having a disagreement and I’m wondering if you could weigh in. We keep a handgun hidden in a locked safe in our bedroom. (An access code is required to open it.) We also have a 11/2-year-old daughter.

On the recommendations of a co-worker, we recently hired a baby sitter whom we used for an evening while we attended a party. She seemed like a nice young lady.

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