GloucesterTimes.com, Gloucester, MA

Lifestyle

October 13, 2013

Military woman eager to start family should pause to think

Dear Abby: I am a 19-year-old female who is serving in the U.S. Air Force. I’m stationed overseas at the moment, and I plan to make the military my career.

I have reached a point in life when I am ready to have a family. Unfortunately, I haven’t found a man who is compatible with me. Every relationship I have ends because it conflicts with my military schedule.

I know adoption is a hard process, but I’m willing to go through it. What do you think about my trying to adopt as a single parent?

Unsure Of My Next Move In England

Dear Unsure: I’m glad you asked because I think you’re jumping the gun. At 19, your search for someone compatible has been limited because of your youth and job responsibilities.

Who would care for your little one if you, as a single mother, were transferred to a “hot spot,” or injured or worse? Would relatives assume the responsibility? Before becoming a mother — adoptive or otherwise — it’s important that you think about this realistically from the point of view of what would be best for the child. If you wait to become a parent until you are older, as many women do today, you will be better equipped emotionally and financially for the responsibility.

Dear Abby: I have a friend whose child is brilliant. He is testing in the 99.5 percentile. At 7, he is already far in advance of his classmates. He has read chapter books since age 5, is doing algebra and asking post-doctoral math and science questions, according to a professor close to the family.

His mother is in denial. She says the other kids will “catch up” in time. If he had special needs in another area, I know she’d be in there fighting to get him appropriate services and accommodations.

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