Dear Abby: I am 19 and a new bride. My husband is in the Army. We’re very happy, but I just found out that I’m pregnant — I’m not sure how far along yet — and I feel torn about what to do.
My husband wants a child very badly, but he did say he would support whatever decision I make. While I have no objection to having a child, I know my family will make me feel guilty if I do by saying they are disappointed, that I should have waited and that I’m “throwing my life away.”
Abby, I am so confused. I don’t know what to do. I want my family to support me and be there when I have our first child.
Pressured And Confused
Dear Pressured: Was your family disappointed and saying you were throwing your life away when you married your husband? If the answer is no, then why would they accuse you of doing so because you are pregnant?
You are an adult, albeit a young one, and a wife. The first thing you need to do is see a gynecologist and find out how far along you are. Your next step is for you and your husband to decide if you are emotionally and financially ready to be parents.
No one can decide this for you, but your family’s possible “disappointment” should not enter into your decision. If they are not supportive, your in-laws might be.
Dear Abby: Before my son met his fiancee of five years, “Shelby,” he went with another girl, “Dana,” for three years. During that time we became good friends with Dana’s parents (the “Smiths”). After the breakup, we stayed in touch with the Smiths and go out occasionally.
Recently, Mrs. Smith invited us to her husband’s retirement party. When we told our son we were going, he mentioned it to Shelby, who told us we were being disrespectful to her by continuing our relationship with the Smiths.