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June 24, 2013

Hosts feel slighted when left off friends' guest lists

:Dear Abby: My husband and I invite our friends for dinner quite often, and invitations are always accepted. Recently, I began to notice that we are never invited to some of their homes for dinner.

I know entertaining isn’t for everyone, but they do entertain other people — just not us. I’m not sure why this is. We would never go empty-handed. If we weren’t asked to bring a dessert or an appetizer, we would at least bring a bottle of wine to thank our hosts, and I’d help to clear the dishes and straighten the kitchen when the meal is over.

Have you any thoughts as to why an invitation is never extended to us?

:Not On The “A” List

Dear Not: The problem may be that the couple is embarrassed that they can’t entertain you as lavishly as you have entertained them. Or, they may have never been taught that it is rude to accept people’s hospitality and not reciprocate in some way. Because they are friends, you should pose this question to them and ask for an honest answer.

Dear Abby: I have been married for 19 years and this is the third time I have caught my wife cheating. I didn’t catch her “in the act” because she disguised it behind “vacations with her girlfriends.” What happened was I caught her sending some guy nude pictures of herself and lying about having stayed at a friend’s house. (She had spent the night with a guy.)

I have remained in this marriage because I wanted to raise all my kids before separating or divorcing. I am leaving eventually, but want to stay four more years to raise my last son.

Is it immoral to lie and pretend like I want to work it out? I feel this is the best way not to damage my children.

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