GloucesterTimes.com, Gloucester, MA

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May 14, 2013

Woman who doesn't like sex can't get rid of men who do

:Dear Abby: I am a woman in my late 40s and I hate sex. I always have and always will. I’m disabled, and it has always been torture. I never got any positive benefits out of it.

My problem is I get hit on constantly. I tried marriage once, more for financial reasons than anything else, but I couldn’t wait to get out. I’m single now, own my own home, and the men in this town (married and single) all seem to think I’m fair game. They’re convinced that I’m in need of satisfaction because I don’t date or have a steady man in my life.

I have told them repeatedly that it’s not going to happen, but every once in a while one pops up on my doorstep or approaches me in town, only to be told AGAIN to leave me alone.

Please don’t tell me to see a therapist. The last one I went to tried to tell me I was gay. No! I’m simply happy being single and sex-free. I go where I want and don’t have to answer to anyone. Short of running these idiots off with a shotgun, how do I get it through their thick skulls that I’m not available?

:Sexless By Choice

:Dear Sexless: Although we live in a sex-obsessed society, not everyone — male or female — is a sexual creature. Your therapist should not have tried to label you as gay. You appear to be asexual, which you describe as happily sex-free.

The next time you are hit on by one of these men — who, by the way, probably think that by doing so they are “helping” — tell him you are happy with your life just the way it is, and it isn’t necessary to offer help where none is needed. Period.

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