GloucesterTimes.com, Gloucester, MA

Lifestyle

November 28, 2012

Husband can't get over discovering wife's past

:Dear Abby: My wife and I have been married for five years. I recently discovered that she made between 10 and 20 porn videos when she was 19. We got married when she was 27. We have four kids from two previous marriages.

I am devastated. When I confronted her about it, she cried harder than I had ever seen. She said she was lost, and it’s the biggest regret of her entire life.

I understand how hard it can be to tell someone you have done something like this. I haven’t led a perfect life either, and I have my own skeletons and things that I would never mention. But still, I can’t get over this. I have never felt pain like this in my entire life and don’t know what to do. I love my wife and don’t want a divorce, but it haunts my every thought. We have had a great life and I trust her completely. What should I do to get over this?

Devastated In The U.S.A.

Dear Devastated: A giant step in the right direction would be to accept that you BOTH had a history before you married each other, and you both have done things you aren’t proud of. Then make a list of all the GOOD things you have together, and forgive your wife for making some painful mistakes in the past that she was too ashamed to tell you. It certainly beats divorcing a woman you love over something she can’t change. If that doesn’t work, then you’d be wise to seek marriage counseling.

Dear Abby: My wife verbally abuses me constantly. We have an 11-month-old child, which is the only reason I tolerate it. While I try hard not to curse back, once in a while I end up doing so.

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Lifestyle

Your news, your way
Pictures of the Week
Comments Tracker
AP Entertainment Videos
Lithgow, Molina Team for 'Love Is Strange' Trisha Yearwood Announces New Album Seth Meyers Rolls Out Emmy Red Carpet Pierce Brosnan's Call to Join the Expendables ShowBiz Minute: Ray J, Nicole, Dinklage Rita Ora Talks Album; Walks at Calvin Harris Ali Larter Returns to TV in TNT's 'Legends' The Rock Joins DC Comics Film Smokey and a Few Good Friends Robinson, Still Writing, Duets With Friends Nashville Embraces Motley Crue Uzo Aduba's Big Emmy Win New 'Doctor Who' Gets a New York Welcome Kenny Rogers Reminisces About Museum Exhibit Star Power at Charity Banquet ShowBiz Minute: Williams, Emmys, Doctor Who Paparazzi Helps Kardashians to Keep in Touch Ronald D. Moore Shares His 'Outlander' Strategy Brosnan's Heartfelt Message to Robin Williams ShowBiz Minute: Williams, Dion, Brown