GloucesterTimes.com, Gloucester, MA

Lifestyle

January 16, 2013

Woman in love with gay man must begin to look elsewhere

:Dear Abby: “Myles” and I have known each other for five years, but have grown really close over the past three. We tell each other everything, and I have fallen in love with him.

A few months ago, Myles sent me a text saying he needed to tell me a “secret.” He went on to say the guy he had told me was his brother, “Jeff,” is really his lover. Needless to say, that bombshell floored me.

We have discussed it in person, and I have never told him how I feel. I visit them a couple of times a month and always go home feeling hurt. I want Myles for myself, even though I know I can’t have him. I don’t want to lose him as my friend, but it hurts seeing him and Jeff together. How do I resolve this?

Girl Left Behind In California

Dear Left Behind: Start by being as honest with Myles as he was with you. Tell him that over the course of your friendship you fell in love with him — and that you wish you had known he was gay before you became so emotionally involved.

If you want romance, you will have to look for it elsewhere. In order for you to find it, I cannot stress strongly enough that you will need to feel good about yourself. Stop torturing yourself by visiting the two lovebirds and take a break for a while. A LONG while.

Dear Abby: I am a 36-year-old woman who has never been married or had children. For the past two years I’ve been seeing a man I’ll call Frank. I love him deeply, and I believe he feels the same about me.

Frank is still married but legally separated from his wife. They have one child who lives with his mom. Frank lives with me, and Frank’s wife lives with another man and has a second child by yet another guy.

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