GloucesterTimes.com, Gloucester, MA

Breaking News

Lifestyle

October 24, 2013

Divorcee longs for fairy-tale proposal

Dear Abby: I am a divorcee in my 40s who is in a committed relationship with a man who is also divorced. Neither of our marriages were happy ones. We stayed in them for all the wrong reasons. We have been together for three years, live together, love each other unconditionally and have talked extensively about getting married.

My question is, am I wrong to expect a traditional proposal with an engagement ring? It is important to me that he would think enough of me to plan one. I feel if he did it for his first wife, he should do the same — or more — for me. Would it be in bad taste to mention this?

Asking Too Much? In Pennsylvania

Dear Asking Too Much?: Unless one of your companion’s attributes is clairvoyance, express your feelings. He may not be aware that you would feel somehow cheated if he doesn’t come forth with a gesture that is “equal or better” than what his ex received. Consider carefully what resulted from that first fancy proposal.

An essential ingredient in a successful relationship is the ability to express one’s wants and needs to the other partner. I would only suggest that when you do, your thoughts are couched as a request and not a demand.

Dear Abby: Enlighten me, please. A friend told me her daughter is expecting. She has not said one word about a boyfriend or marriage. How do I diplomatically ask, “Who is the father?”

People in my generation already knew the answer. Marriage came first. Is this now “none of my business”? The grandma-to-be has offered no clue. Can you help me out?

Out Of The Loop Out West

Dear Out Of The Loop: If Grandma-to-be is keeping mum, you can bet there’s a reason. If the father was Prince Harry, she would be trumpeting it from the rooftops. Your friend may not know who the father is or have some other reason for not disclosing it. Unless you want to tiptoe through a minefield, my advice is DON’T GO THERE.

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Lifestyle

Your news, your way
Pictures of the Week
Comments Tracker
AP Entertainment Videos
Married Couple Seeks 'Satisfaction' in New Ways Cast on Love, Weather and Stunts of 'Outlander' Busy Franco's Not Afraid of Overexposure 'The Bachelorette' and Her Beau Go Public Tatum Says Filming 'Foxcatcher' Was 'tortuous' Was That Harry Potter at Comic-Con? Fox Dons 'Bondage Strap' Skirt at Comic-Con Cumberbatch Brings 'Penguins' to Comic-Con 'Modern Family' Star on Gay Athletes Coming Out The Rock Brings Star Power to Premiere Uzo Aduba Says Emmy Nod Is 'Crazy' EPA Gets Hip With Kardashian Tweet Bush: Don't Worry, Sugarland Isn't Breaking Up Mirren Not Thrilled to Play 'The Queen' on B'way The Rock Finds His Inner 'Hercules' ShowBiz Minute: Hoffman, Oberst, Box Office Shawn Mendes Jumps From Vine to the Music Charts Cook Shifts Gears in 'Planes: Fire and Rescue' ShowBiz Minute: Stritch, Marvel, Beyonce ShowBiz Minute: Cole, JWoww, Box Office