GloucesterTimes.com, Gloucester, MA

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July 31, 2013

Young couple's intimacy is risky without birth control

:Dear Abby: My girlfriend, “Allison,” and I have been in a relationship for two years. We met in our sophomore year of high school and have been dating ever since. We have an incredible relationship.

We were virgins when we started dating, but decided we would lose our virginity to each other. We have always used birth control pills and condoms to ensure we wouldn’t be having any children.

Earlier this month we had a pregnancy scare. Allison had failed to tell me she stopped taking her birth control pills three months ago. My trust was broken, but most of all I was scared she might be pregnant. It turned out she wasn’t, but because of the incident I have been skeptical about making love to her. She says this frustrates her, but I have told her the reason I won’t is because she refuses to take the pill.

Abby, we are way too young to have a child and are totally unprepared. I’d still like to be intimate with Allison, but I’m afraid. What should I do?

:Betrayed In Bangor, Maine

Dear Betrayed: You appear to be an intelligent and responsible young man. The first thing you should do is thank your higher power that there wasn’t an “accident” and your girlfriend didn’t become pregnant.

The next thing you should do is find out why Allison would stop taking her birth control pills without telling you. If there was a medical reason, there are other methods she could have used in their place. (If you are planning to attend college, she may have been thinking a baby would “anchor” you to her.)

And last, recognize that if you resume having sex with her — which I emphatically DON’T recommend — that you won’t be able to trust her as far as birth control is concerned, and you will be the one totally responsible for preventing a pregnancy.

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