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January 9, 2013

Online affairs with pupils put teacher's job at risk

: Dear Abby: My husband is now involved in his third computer affair. He’s a teacher, and his first one was with a student. He was almost fired over it. He apologized to me and to his supervisor, said it was an “error in judgment” and promised it would never happen again.

Last week I found an email he had sent to another former student, and the things he said to her were disgusting. The current one is a student, too.

I have a nice home and my husband is good to me except for his wandering eye. He gives me anything I want and takes me with him whenever he travels. But he is a Jekyll and Hyde when it comes to a computer and young girls — all younger than his daughter, I might add.

I know if this gets back to his boss he’ll be fired. He’s a brilliant man and an excellent teacher. So what do I do? I have considered doing nothing, and if he gets caught let him suffer the consequences. Or, I can confront him and try to get him to see a counselor before he ruins his career, and makes me a laughingstock of the community.

We’re financially comfortable and I hate to give it up, but I don’t want to live the rest of my life like this, either. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Not Laughing In Washington State

Dear Not Laughing: Your husband has a serious problem. He is playing Russian roulette with his career — and it’s only a matter of time until he acts inappropriately with the wrong student.

If you love him at all, confront him and insist that he talk to a counselor and learn to strengthen his impulse control. When his activities become public knowledge, as is sure to happen, you won’t be the laughingstock of the community, but your husband WILL be scorned and jobless. If you want to protect your lifestyle as well as your husband’s female students, insist he get professional help NOW.

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