The absurdities of tobacco politics have been with us for decades. But every few years, there is another burst of insanity that would be amusing if we didn't all have to take it seriously, because it has the force of government behind it.
Such are the times in which we now live.
First, the local example:
In Peabody, Bruce Lerner is the most recent poster boy for the death of common sense. And the result, of course, is the death of a business that was paying taxes to a city that could sure use more, not fewer, businesses that pay taxes.
Lerner got in trouble last month with the North Shore Tobacco Control Program - which I henceforth rechristen the North Shore Tobacco Control Freaks - because a 17-year-old girl, working a sting operation for them, was able to enter his Main Street Smoke Shop, walking past two signs that said the store was for adults only and that nobody younger than 18 was allowed to enter.
Lerner demanded an ID from her. When she couldn't produce it, he told her to leave. She never bought, nor smoked, any tobacco. You'd think that would earn him the gold star since the alleged goal of these programs is to keep kids from being able to buy tobacco.
Wrong. The Tobacco Control Freaks slapped him with a $100 fine because he hadn't physically blocked the girl from coming through the door. The local Board of Health, possessed of more sanity than the Freaks, waived the fine. But Lerner has had enough. He's selling the shop.
The Control Freaks say all that Lerner had to do was "abide by the regulations." But this is blowing more smoke than a cigar aficionado. This was all about - what else? - control.
Lerner and the Freaks had clashed before. State regulations require him to keep his store's inventory locked up at all times. He didn't want to do that, arguing that it would be expensive, would inconvenience his customers and amounted to unreasonable demands on how he ran his business. So, he said he would make his shop "adults only," and posted the signs forbidding any minors to enter.
So the Freaks, angered that he wouldn't do things the way they wanted, simply nitpicked him to death. If he wouldn't do things their way, they'd get him anyway. Common sense? This wasn't about that or even about controlling the use of tobacco. This was about vengeance.
Joyce Redford, director of the Control Freaks, essentially said Lerner should have had a bouncer at the door. She compared a kid getting through the door of the Smoke Shop to the same kid getting through the door of the Cabaret, the Route 1 strip joint.
Right. A glimpse of packs of cigarettes and cigars along with smoking paraphernalia is as damaging to teen sensibilities and hormones as seeing a naked woman dance in front of leering men.
Yes, for those of you still wondering, government has gone crazy.
Because the insanity isn't just at the small-town level. Look at our powerful, learned state Supreme Judicial Court, which ruled about a month ago that tobacco companies could not defend themselves against personal-injury lawsuits with the defense that their customers should know the health risks of cigarettes and are therefore responsible for any ill effects of their choice to smoke.
Its rationale was that no cigarette, used for its ordinary purpose, is safe.
That, of course, has been known and proclaimed for decades. Warnings about it appear on every pack of cigarettes, not to mention in radio and television advertising. Smoking is banned from commercial and public buildings. Most smokers are made to feel like social pariahs. And the choice to smoke is made by free, emancipated adults.
I've got no personal stake in this. I haven't smoked since fourth grade, when I sucked on a Camel in a fruitless attempt to impress a female classmate. I agree that it is a dirty, smelly, unhealthy and very expensive habit.
But what always gets lost in the faux "war" on tobacco is that it remains a legal product. Nobody - not the courts, not the president, not Congress - ever makes any moves to outlaw it. That, of course, is because it is far too lucrative. It is government, not the tobacco companies, that makes the windfall profits through confiscatory taxes.
In other words, the real message to smokers is, keep lighting up so we'll have the money to fight smoking.
The Control Freaks should keep in mind that some of those billions trickle down to them. If tobacco sales actually decline, they might even lose funding for their "program."
They wouldn't want that. That would mean a loss of control.
Taylor Armerding is associate editorial page editor of The Eagle-Tribune. He may be reached at 978-946-2213 or at tarmerding@eagletribune.com
