To the editor:
In these times of supercharged electioneering, can we fit in some listening?
Do we remember when parents, teachers and Scout leaders stood in front of us demanding nothing less and we obliged unless the speaker had raised his/her voice and frightened us. Then, we used our eyes to search out any nook and cranny where we could hide. We kept nodding our heads as though in agreement with the seeming edicts, waiting for the chance to make ourselves scarce.
If, on the other hand, we felt comfortable with what was being said, we opened our earways and absorbed the words that were coming our way.
In my day, if they were spoken by Jack Benny or Bob Hope, not one word was missed since any chance for fun or funniness was latched onto. To a lesser degree, any praise or even pleased expressions that were transmuted into speech were absorbed and made for comforting interior way stations.
Along came the strong messages about our creating our own reality and we fell in line, straining to choose among experiences that suited our deepest requirements. If we didn't, it had to be our fault for making bad choices. Unsuitable mates, politicians, friends, communities — name it, choosing correctly was our own responsibility.
That's where we honed our listening skills. We even turned to tapping into others' body language. Frowns, finger thumping, ambling not walking, were signals, but we were sometimes wrong about those signals. We knew we had to hear the words that went along with them when the going got rough, as it sometimes did.
We even read books about non-violent conflict resolution to help us. We learned that we had to be mindful of the other person's needs — deepest needs, and the person often required help in discerning what they really were.
If the person or group had been branded as "evil" or a bunch of "terrorists" by a higher up, extracting him or them from a possibly undeserved label takes further work.
Deep listening that gets at the fundamental humanity, the authentic selves is required.
Are we up for it? It's bound to be rewarding for all of us, worldwide.
CYNTHIA FISK
Chapel Street, Gloucester
