GloucesterTimes.com, Gloucester, MA

Opinion

October 14, 2013

Fishtown Local: A dangerous form of 'Cruz Control'

Do you suppose there was once a time when some guy up in Canada rolled up his sleeves, gave a really evil grin and decided he was gonna grind the good ‘ol USA to a bloody halt.

He was going to surreptitiously push his neighbors to the south over a cliff as high as Niagara Falls and let the idiots just wash themselves away. And he was going to do all this by himself.

Let’s just say this Canadian guy designed his plan carefully and methodically. He worked out where the thickest people lived, who would basically believe anything as long it sounded mostly like what they already thought and was clothed in talk of guns, God and the red, white and blue.

Tell ‘em what they already knew but twist it enough to get people even crazier, rabid and snarling even more than they had ever known. After all, he did look a lot like Bill Murray, so, he perhaps pondered, he’d be able to get away with anything.

He moved down there, set up shop, started talking, began to get his message across and soon the pieces of his plan fell into place. Hmmm, as Hitler once said, if you’re going to tell a lie, make it really big lies, not little lies.

People don’t want little lies, they want big lies. They want something they can believe in. You can, after all, fool some of the people all of the time. All of the people, some off the time.

Well you know the rest . . . and that’s when the evil plan settles back to earth, when all of the people no longer believe all of the time.

We haven’t gotten there quite yet. There are still people being fooled and falling for the evil plan to wreck America hatched by this unrepentant import from the North.

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