February 25, 2009 04:00 am To the editor: Last Wednesday, I had my first close encounter with the city's new purple trash bags. It wasn't pretty. I eagerly opened my supply of five bags and with great care began separating my bags at the appropriate perforated line. To my surprise I found that the bags were attached at the sides and soon found that the slightest miss pull deems the bags unusable. A failure at my first try left me with a giant purple drop cloth. I was now determined not to be beaten by the purple monster. I carefully unrolled the next bag and with the utmost care separated the next bag from the roll. Success! Now the challenge I faced was how to fill the oddly shaped bag in the most advantageous way. My tall kitchen trash bags (13 gallons) needed to be loaded side by side in order to accommodate the wide width and short stature of the new trash bags. It would have been helpful if I had a third hand but since I do not, it took me 10 minutes of wiggling the bags in place while desperately trying not to tear the flimsy purple trash bags. Now it was time to close the bag. I firmly grabbed the plastic handles and began to close the bag. But wait. The handles are stretching. Soon, I find myself with an extra three feet of handle. So I get creative and tie them in a bow followed by a quadruple knot. The only thing I have left to do is carry the bag to the car and drive it up to the closest cross road (the trash truck doesn't come to the end of the street). I lift the bag by its white handles and begin to walk to the car. The next thing I know, the bag is on the ground and the handles have stretched so long that they now stretch to the height of my nose. I put the bag into the car and up the road I go. As I look up my street, I see a sea of purple bags all slumped over at the side of the road. Wait, I think I hear all the little creatures that feed on trash applauding. They know that these bags are "fair pickings." They don't fit in any trash cans and the bags are very flimsy. The crows are already circling and I hear one of them say they loved the new "purple buffet" being served all over the city. "Come for the early-bird specials." It seems to me that the city really let the ball fall this time. I like purple as much as the next person — but all I see now is red. Judy Ray King Philip Road, Gloucester
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