Q: One of my husband's clients gave him Red Sox tickets several years ago. He has not been to a game since and has wanted desperately to go. He refuses to pay the going rate through ticket brokers and decided to ask the client if he could purchase some tickets from him. Naturally, the client gave my husband four awesome tickets, three rows right behind home plate, to a recent Red Sox game and everyone had a wonderful time; they won, too! Is it appropriate to send a thank you note and thank someone again for their gift after they have enjoyed, not only in this case Red Sox tickets, but also for a gift certificate, money, etc.? My husband also sent him a gift certificate to his favorite restaurant as a "thank you" as he would not accept any money. Was this gesture over the top?
A: Your husband is fortunate to have such a great client. Going forward, however, please know it really is up to the client to offer. That said, you did not say if your husband actually sent a thank you note after he received the tickets. Regardless, please be reminded, saying "please" and "thank you", "excuse me" and "I'm sorry"... How often are they said? Never enough! Even if your husband did write a thank you note for the tickets originally, another note would certainly go a long way in terms of letting his client know how much this meant to him. Particularly, in light of being given not two, but four tickets, the opportunity your husband had to include other friends and/or family members was very special. Further, the Red Sox won, also special. I am confident this was a great game. When are they not? As well, whether for this Red Sox game or a gift certificate, another "thank you" with details of the experience will certainly resonate in all positive ways. Finally, sending a gift certificate along with the thank you note was a gracious, thoughtful and generous gesture, indeed not over the top. I have a feeling next year, your husband will not have to ask!
Q: Thank you notes have been working wonders for me. There is not a day that I don't send one. After meeting with someone for business, or after visiting a new establishment, I send one. It opens "The Doors". People will throw away a flier or a business card, but a thank you note will have a space on their desk for a while and they will show it to others.
A: Thank you for sharing, and I agree! I believe thank you notes and thoughtful cards are the single best methods of opening doors and keeping them open when endeavoring to establish a relationship, both personally and professionally. E-mail thank you notes are also fine, however, we are strong on suggesting that while e-mail may be efficient, there is absolutely nothing that will ever quite replace the timeless, traditional thank you note, written on quality stationery — a reflection of you. I have not only shown or read special notes to others, I have found myself asking where they found their stationery!
People notice. And, as always, whether we like to admit it or not, we are "assessment machines" and those things we say and our actions are always under scrutiny by people and at times, least suspecting ... always making judgments. In other words, you never know who is noticing, watching or listening, or when. Please be aware that the thank you note you send may be shared, circulated or even rest on someone's desk for public viewing for a while.
Therefore, a gentle reminder to:
— Check to make sure your note does not have misspelling, cross-outs or coffee stains, and the paper is not wrinkled or skewed in any way.
— Do invest in quality stationery and use stationery that suits the occasion — fun stationery for fun occasions — more traditional stationery for professional gestures or something of a more stated nature.
— Use pens that do not skip such as a fine point felt tip pen.
— Please be reminded of ink colors, e.g., blue for social correspondence, black for professional correspondence.
— Personalized stationery, either embossed or engraved, is fabulous.
Judy Bowman is the president of Protocol Consultants International, providing etiquette training to corporate executives. Etiquette questions may be submitted to Everyday Etiquette, c/o Essex County Newspapers, 32 Dunham Road, Beverly, MA 01915 or e-mail features@eagletribune.com..
