Today's "Pediatric Notes" column by Dr. Brian Orr marks the first in a five-part weekly series on parenting teenagers. The series will continue on the Times' Health page each Friday through Sept. 5.

To parent teens well, we must start with a good base.

Remember, teens rebel. They question. They explore. But by late teen years they often return to the moral base their family gave them. That moral base is what we give kids in their first 12 years and continue into their teen years. How do we give them that base?

As kids grow, we battle them over many issues.

Let's take a simple example; can they have a sleepover? Are the other parents aware? Will they be home? Who else will be there? Will there be enough chaperones?

That seems like a simple scenario. But as a parent, you know there are many scenarios like that one where we have to face our children and make decisions for them.

In all these battles and decisions, there are lessons. How much freedom do we allow? How much trust has our child earned? How much respect do we have for them? These questions are answered in our decisions. And kids learn to earn respect and trust over time.

Through these everyday decisions, our kids learn about right and wrong, and about what is safe and unsafe. This gives children a basic morality that serves as their base for entering the stormy teen years.

Parents need to set rules, have consequences, and say "no" to their kids freewheeling desires. Many parents feel guilty about setting limits, and you might think, "Well, it seems like I am the only parent worried about allowing this." Rest assured. You are not. Many times kids need corrections for stretching the limits. Even the best kids break rules sometimes. Consequences need to be carried out so kids learn.

It is normal to have these events. We need to face them appropriately and justly.

Rules and limits show children and teens we care about them. We want them safe. We care about their health. We are trying to protect them. Even if kids don't like it, they at least appreciate that you care.

Don't be shy about having rules and boundaries for your children. Many parents get tired out as kids get into teen years but it may be even more important for teens to know where the limits are.

Sometimes parents that have laid down some rules may provide their teen with a way out with their peers that will keep them out of trouble. It may let them say, "I would go out with you guys later but my parents won't let me. I have a curfew."

Inside, the teen might be relieved that he has the curfew since it gives him a reason to stay out of an activity he didn't want to be part of in the first place!

Limits do need to be discussed over time. Some increased liberty is certainly in order for kids who earn it. Trust between parent and teen is a developed commodity. Every household needs to have discussions over this issue of trust since it is an important part of parenting your teen.

There is another important piece about providing a base for kids for their teen years. Parents need to recognize their children for their skills and accomplishments. This recognition gives a child a sense of what they are good at. Parents must recognize and praise their children's true skills.

Praise is the way to balance all the limits we have to set. Kids learn the positive characteristics inside themselves that we admire and like to see. By praising kids, we build a child who wants to please us more and are, therefore, more apt to follow rules.

Combine a sense of accomplishment and skill with ideas of safety and right and wrong, and you have a child who has a solid base to start his teen experience.

Dr. Brian Orr is a Gloucester pediatrician. You can send comments on this column or the series through Times editor Ray Lamont at rlamont@gloucestertimes.com

Next Week: A checklist of guidelines for parenting teens.