We here at FishOn do not bow to pressure, never have and never will. Unless it's from someone more influential, taller or smarter than us. And that's it's own continent right there. Then we're like Gumby in warm oven.
Which brings us to today's FishOn, our heavy hearts and our responsibility to inform our loyal FishOners that, beginning with this week's column, FishOn will be a Larry-free zone.
We will not explore the revolutionary hair tips of Larry Fine. We will not congratulate Larry Walker on his ascent into baseball's Hall of Fame, nor seek comment from Larry Lucchino, baseball's Solzhenitsyn, on life in exile. We will not throw passes to Larry Fitzgerald and we will not get acting tips from Sir Laurence Olivier (he told us to call him Larry).
We will not have our expansive FishOn fitness center rewired by Larry Chalmers, Rockport's electrician to the stars, and we will not, under any circumstances, mention the Rockport lobsterman of whom we have written so much and given so little.
He, like Grady Little, shall remain nameless, right there with the pet lobster that he-whom-shall-remain-nameless drags around to salt newspaper stories from well-meaning, if naive, scribes. Gone. Cancelled. Hit the bricks.
But we are not without empathy. Well, at least we don't think that we are. Does it itch? It must, everything comes with a price. Anyway, there are a couple Larrys that will always have a place in FishOn and we don't mean Larry Mondello from "Leave it to Beaver" or Larry Storch from "F Troop."
Larry Bird or Larry David have news, we're all ears. Right here, fellas, speak into our elbow.
He-whom-shall-remain nameless update
It's kind of a shame that we can't mention, you know, what's his name, because we're here tell to tell you the Maine to Massachusetts crustacean caper has had the legs of a centipede.
The Associated Press picked up the story and sent it, well, everywhere.
By Friday, it had run in and, or on the websites of U.S. News & World Report, the Washington Times, the San Francisco Chronicle, the Portland (Maine) Press Herald and the Daily Worker (kidding). The Portland paper actually ran a photo of he-whom-shall-remain-nameless. According to highly unreliable sources, it alone was responsible for crashing a Ukrainian anarchist dating app.
What do you call seafood with no legs? Groundfish
Well, OK, recycled old beef joke there in the subhead, first told in the press box at Fenway Park in 1991. But, to the joke's staying power, Steve Fainaru, of the famous Flying Fainarus of San Francisco, laughed then and we laughed while writing it. No throwing shade on the classics.
You may have seen last week in the pages of the Gloucester Daily Times, and online at gloucestertimes.com, the New England Fishery Management Council on Wednesday voted to ship the contentious Amendment 23 out for public comment after almost three years of discussion and development.
Frankly, it was a difficult story to write because there was so much context and history, but also because it's difficult to gauge the true sense of any one moment — beyond the apocryphal "final action" — in the rule-making process because it's so bloody long and intricate.
And people complain about the length of the baseball season.
At first blush, NOAA Regional Administrator Mike Pentony's motion to max out at-sea monitoring levels at 100% on all groundfish vessels trips seemed a crusher until Pentony offered his own explanation, that it really was to keep the rule-making process moving forward while providing the necessary transparency given what's at stake.
And hold no illusions. This is like Stalingrad. If, going forward, what remains of the Northeast groundfish fleet has to foot the bill for almost any level of at-sea monitoring — accepting the usual estimate of $700 to $800 per day per vessel — the jig is pretty much up. Unless there is a corresponding spike in the maximized value of annual catch limits and other cost benefits that would offset the costs.
And a long-term commitment to federal funding for ASM wouldn't hurt either. But on that front, as our grandmother used to say, good luck to them and the Red Sox.
Quick Mike Pentony quiz: Where the did the NOAA jefe earn his bachelor and graduate degrees?
Quick Mike Pentony quiz answer: Duke University, where he admits to being one of the Cameron crazies. So, who do you think his all-time Duke player is? We're going with Jim Spanarkel. Isn't he everyone's favorite?
As always, no fish were harmed in the making of this column.
Contact Sean Horgan at 978-675-2714, or email@example.com. Follow him on Twitter at @SeanGDT