Names, names, names. TV, newspapers, real life — heck, one runs across some names that might raise an eyebrow, especially if you know their profession. Let’s start simple: Did you know that the chief operating officer of PayPal is Bill Ready?
Remember the singer Sandra Dee? She had a sister named Ellis.
Read a story in the paper about Shanghai University scholar and professor Song Guoyou. Tell him, for me: You’re welcome . . .
Ulrich Speckt Mie is a German government analyst, Ya, I’ will in the morning.
There is a real Thailand city called Phuket.
An English joke: How did John Lennon’s wife get her last name? Apparently, it was what the other Beatles said the first time they saw her coming. Ringo said: “Oh no . . .”
Lou Poles — he wasn’t a lawyer, but with a name like that . . .
Steptoe & Johnson is the law firm that argued the Supreme Court case to get Trump’s tax returns made public.
Or how about Wes Moore, food expert? When it comes to food, always, Wes is Moore.
TV show producer Katie Wech almost married Mark Twain’s great-great grandson. But it was never meant to be. Their married name would have been Twain-Wech.
Really interesting people I wish I’d met: Cindi Whattebutte, a German art critic. Roger Ring, an old British name for an old British game. Mike Roburst. Otto Krecht. Constance Norring. Bernadette Bridge, Stu Early, Dorris Shutt, Nadia Belimee. Do you know any of them?
“Bolton’s book will be difficult for Republicans to dismiss,” said Susan Smirk, head of the China Center at the University of California at San Diego.
“We hope this can be resolved very quickly,” quipped Paul Smellington, concerning the reputation of Norway salmon in China. He should know.
I want financial bonds expert Bill Yonaire working for me. My plumber to be Sal De Bain.
And don’t forget, once great, historic Irish ruler: King O’Sabe, was something of a lone ranger, himself . . .
Sara Moanie was an event planner we once hired to give out awards. Lee Ratner was the original founder of rodent control company DCON. Shannon Pettypiece is still a crack reporter for CNN. The fund raising head of Lawyers Academy is still Soo Mi Thompson. And Boley’s is a tenpin lanes in Oklahoma.
That Hugh Jackman, boy, can he sing and dance — he’s a huge act, man.
His piano player is Al Hall, nicknamed “Key” because of his perfect pitch.
Don’t forget Councilor Holly Schmidt.
Or the Texas law firm Heil, Hilter. Or its competitor : R. Winge & A. Praer
Had to write this one down: A tech writer from Hong Kong named Glacier Komin. A 1970s Alabama state champion sprinter named Avil Laptham, did.
What is she on? She’s Anna Meiler, of course. A Channel 4 reporter, whose husband is a distance runner.
Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker Maurkise Pouncey. That’s what they do.
Holyoke Breakfast Cafe — good, because who eats half an egg?
The street address of my accountant is Holden Place.
Listening to a PBS special on iconery of the European churches, I wondered if that could also be the title of Sean’s autobiography, Iconery? But do you know Oliver Garck, whose friends call him Ollie. Or Lester Grinspoon, prominent scholar, who backed the legalization of pot for three decades. He might know Katie Phang, a practicing lawyer from Manhattan. Frank Lee Whittier — a comedian from Sheboygan, Wisconsin. Pull up your mask for Anna Eschoo, a congresswoman from New York State. When she speaks, people say gesundheit!
Remember: Dairy and diary are the same word. Unclear and nuclear. Reboot and roboto. Pouts and POTUS. Weird and wired. Verses and serves. Coast and coats. Closets and closest. Boost and boots. And, of course, Iran and rain, calm and clam.
Plausible and applausable aren’t, but you get the idea. Danger and anger aren’t.
But when you want to get something done around here, ask Shane Filorgy. He is very well fed — his cook is Marge Ereene.
Finally, where’s Pam Smart when you need her? Sometimes cable TV can get so goofy: The other month I heard Larry Brilliant, epidemiologist, on CNN discussing the testimony of Richard Bright, the Trump-fired head of vaccine research, followed by Yale professor David Blight. So that’s Brilliant on Bright before Blight without Smart. Another Twain-Wech . . .
Gloucester resident Gordon Baird is an actor and musician, co-founder of Musician magazine and producer of “The Chicken Shack” community access TV show.